Most international locations are sending criminals to jail. Some individuals imagine that training can be a greater answer to crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In most elements of the world, jail is the principle instrument used to punish criminals. Nevertheless, some imagine that training is a greater option to forestall crime. I totally agree with this view, as I imagine training targets the foundation causes of prison behaviour extra successfully than punishment does.
Sending individuals to jail might shield society within the brief time period, however it typically fails to stop reoffending. Many prisoners go away jail with no higher abilities, information, or assist than once they entered. In actual fact, prisons can expose inmates to additional violence, psychological well being issues, and prison networks. With out entry to training or job coaching, ex-offenders might wrestle to search out work and return to crime merely to outlive. On this sense, jail turns into a revolving door, relatively than an answer.
In distinction, training provides individuals an opportunity to alter their path. For these prone to committing crime, particularly younger individuals from deprived backgrounds, entry to high quality training can present hope, objective, and alternative. Even throughout the jail system, instructional applications have been proven to decrease reoffending charges. Individuals who examine whereas incarcerated typically develop new abilities and acquire confidence, which helps them reintegrate into society. That is notably evident in international locations like Norway, which focus extra on rehabilitation and training than punishment, as they persistently have low crime and reoffending charges.
In conclusion, whereas imprisonment could also be needed for harmful offenders, training is a much more efficient long-term answer to crime. It not solely prevents individuals from committing crimes within the first place, but in addition helps them rebuild their lives after conviction. Due to this fact, I strongly imagine that governments ought to make investments extra in training as a key a part of their crime prevention methods.
Instructor’s suggestions:
It is a clear, well-developed essay that may possible obtain a Band 8 or greater.
Job Response: Band 8
You’ve answered the query instantly and maintained a constant place all through — that training is a greater long-term answer to crime. Your concepts are related and well-supported, particularly the comparability between jail methods and academic outcomes. To strengthen your response much more, you would possibly briefly acknowledge when imprisonment is important (as you do), then discover that time just a bit extra for steadiness.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is logically organised with clear paragraphing. Your concepts progress easily from one to the following, and also you’ve used cohesive gadgets naturally, with out overdoing them. One small enchancment might be a barely stronger opening sentence in Physique Paragraph 1 to higher introduce the concept of jail’s limitations – right here is an instance: “Whereas imprisonment is a extensively used methodology of punishment, it has vital limitations in decreasing long-term prison behaviour.”
Lexical Useful resource: Band 8
Your phrase alternative is exact and applicable for an instructional activity. Phrases like “revolving door,” “social marginalisation,” and “crime prevention methods” present a large vocabulary. To achieve Band 9, attempt incorporating a number of extra unusual or idiomatic expressions to additional exhibit lexical sophistication.
Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: Band 9
You’ve proven wonderful management of grammar, with a variety of sentence varieties and correct advanced constructions. There aren’t any noticeable errors, and your grammar helps clear, fluent communication all through.
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